Regret
by lalapie203
Summary: Let me tell you a story... there was a boy and a girl in a relationship, the girl loved the boy and boy broke the girl's heart, the boy now is in love with the girl who now got over him... in short, I'm in love with my ex who got over me... [Told in Natsu's POV]
1. Chapter 1

It's been two years ever since I made that stupid mistake, the stupidest mistake a human can make when they are in high school, and that mistake was… breaking up with a person who loved you for real, that person was Lucy Heartifilia, the girl who loved me for me and didn't judge me like the rest, and what the fuck did I do? I used her… I took her virginity, took the little things she does for me for granted, and took her trust, care, time but most importantly I took her heart. What did I give her in return? Pain, sadness, insecurity, I made her feel worthless, but the important thing was I gave her a big heartbreak…

For what? For a girl I thought I that I loved, for some bitch who was using me more that I used Lucy, I ruined one person's trust over a girl named Lisanna Strauss, the girl who used me over some bet, the girl who used me for popularity, the girl who used me as laugh stock, but mostly she was a girl who made me learn a lesson… never take things for granted…

Ever since the break up the bed has been cold, the food never tasted the same, the sights that I used to enjoy are dull now, I never smiled the same, and I was just an old shell from the old me… no more large grins, no more making people's day, no more telling jokes, but mostly there was no more love.

People taught I could move on, I mean I was an ass hole to Lucy so doesn't that mean that I had no love for her? There's a problem with that, I started to fall in love with Lucy after we broke up and after Lisanna leaving me humiliated.

Here is the situation in short; I, Natsu Dragneel, am in love with my ex, who got over me…

_**And Cut! So what do you think? I know I shouldn't be writing new stories, but this has been stuck in my mind all week!**_

_**Review?**_

_**~Lala**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey Guys I know, I know a new chapter in the second day! What? Well, yes but I just want to remind you that this is in Natsu's POV so you can't take everything he says as the truth *hint Lisanna hint ***_

Normal

_Flashback_

**Lyrics **

_**And Action!**_

I wake up, to a world that is dull, like it was yesterday; the bed where I'm laying on is still the same just a bit bigger now…

**Same bed but it feels just a bit bigger now…**

I remember the day we bought the bed, me complaining about how I need a bigger bed so we can both sleep in and you blushing like a tomato…

"_Natsu! Look at this one! Its big and it looks like stars on fire!"_

"_How does it look like stars on fire?"_

"_It just does!"_

"_Weirdo_"

I turn on the radio, because I remember how much you loved listening to music, it was your passion right after writing of course….

**Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same…**

Right then and now, the song that played on our first date, came on and I memorized every beat, every word and every sound that the song had… I just hope you still love this song…

"_Natsu, come on dance with me!"_

"_No."_

"_At least sing it with me…"_

"_*sigh* fine…_

"_Yippee!"_

I can't hang out with our old friends, because they either look at me with pity or rage. I can't hear them talking about us or even just about you, because it would rip my heart out…

**When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down… 'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name…**

I have new friends, but they aren't like the ones we shared, they are just drinking buddies. The last time I talked to our old group was when I had a fight with them about you…

"_YOU ASSHOLE! HOW COULD YOU?!"_

"_What? I got what I want from her, so why should I keep pretending?"_

"_GET OUT YOU HEARTLESS SON OF A BITCH!"_

"_I'M OUT; I DON'T EVEN NEED YOU BITCHES ANYWAY!"_

I was an idiot, a stupid idiot… if only I returned your love with the simple things I could've done…

**Too young, too dumb to realize, that I should've bought you flowers, and held your hand. Should've gave you all my hours, when I had the chance…**

I was your boyfriend ever since freshmen year, and if you didn't hold out to intertwine our fingers, then I wouldn't have. If you weren't there for me, then I wouldn't have survived my problems during high school…

"_Natsu, I made you something, your favorite~… FIRE CHICKEN!"_

"_Natsu, to find the locater point you have to look at h and k…"_

"_Natsu, I'm here for you, even if Igneel takes a long time…"_

"_Natsu, did you really fight with Wendy? Its ok you can talk to me about it…"_

"_Natsu, you wanna hug, cuddle or kiss~"_

"_Natsu…"_

"_Natsu…"_

"_Natsu…"_

"_Natsu, how could you…"_

If only I wasn't greedy, then you would still be here…

**My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways… caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life**…

I don't remember you asking for help with you needed comfort after your father passed away, I don't remember you leaning on my shoulder when it was your mother's death anniversary, and I don't remember you needing my protection when you were put in dangerous situations…

Back then you didn't need me, but I needed you no, I still need you …

"_Natsu, can you help me with the bags?"_

"_Tch, so annoying…"_

I just need a chance; I just need one more chance just to show you that I really did love you, even if I didn't show it…

**Now, I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, and it haunts me every time I close my eyes…**

I can't sleep without dreaming about how I treated you, or have nightmares about that day, or even if I was sitting in my room and start to daydream my mind ends up thinking about our relationship… how much I wish to show you that I really love you…

"_Natsu, I love you…"_

"_Yeah, yeah I love you too… now give me the bento"_

Why? Why didn't I realize this sooner, why did I let Lisanna get into my head? She was Lucy's best friend and still is. Why didn't I see that she was just dying to show Lucy that I don't deserve her? Why did I forget all the glares she gave me when I was with Lucy? She and Cana were the only ones who never accepted my as her boyfriend…

But Lisanna was a bitch, I can't believe Luce is still friends no, best friends with her. Shouldn't she be mad that her best friend was the reason for our break up? Oh yeah, she got over me… and it wasn't Lisanna's fault but mine…

**When I was your man**

_**And cut! So what do you think? Is Natsu ever going to get another chance? What about Lucy how is she doing?**_

_**I would like to thank UnitedOsprey1991 for helping me with the story!**_

_**Song: When I was your Man by Bruno Mars..**_

_**Hope you guys liked it!**_

_**Love you all!**_

_**Review?**_

_**~Lala**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Ok so I think I put Natsu into enough torture…..NOT! I love Natsu to death but, this story is meant to show how I feel about some stories that have Natsu as an asshole and he breaks Lucy heart, yes he regrets it but what I don't like is making Lucy completely vulnerable, I mean come on! Sure if they were meant to be, then they will be together but, making Lucy so obvious that she still is in love with Natsu makes me so mad… but the stories are good so I read them. I just don't like Lucy not being able to hide from Natsu that she still is not over him! No, don't get your hopes up in this story she is over him! Why? Because Natsu was a total asshole…**_

_**Enough of that and welcome to the new chapter! Enjoy! **_

_**Oh yeah, it's really short**_

_**Action!**_

Pain, pain, hurt, hurt…why? I want to know why… I know I'm not over her, I know I love her, I know she is over me, I accepted the facts. I moved away from Magnolia, I now live Crocus to avoid seeing her happiness and my friends, no ex-friends happiness without me… I moved away from the pain and hurt that comes with it. Is this how Lucy felt? Is it possible for another human being to cause this much pain in life? She went through this and came out stronger? No, she went through more than this because, unlike her I betrayed her…

A lot of people think I'm depressed, suicidal, and an alcoholic but, I'm not…

I learned how to be grateful for what you have making me not a depressed person.

I'm not suicidal because I still have goal in life, like finding the meaning of life again.

I'm not an alcoholic; because I only drink to drink away problems not drink to stay alive.

What am I?

I'm broken…

I have the money, I have the fame, and I have the life that many people want… I just want love…

Love of my friends…

Love of my family…

Love of the one girl who cared about me…

…

…

…

Lucy

Here it comes back again, the pain, the sorrow, the hurt, the **regret**…

Why can't I remember our happy moments? Why can't I remember the beginning of our relationship? How we got together, how we had our moments…why? Why is it I only remember the pain I caused? Why is it I only remember the betrayal I committed? Why do I remember the tears she sheds and not the smiles I caused?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

We were together for four years; I fucked up in the fourth year. What about the first three years? When we both loved each other I want to remember that…

Pain, pain, pain, pain and more pain…

Now I need alcohol…

One cup

Two

Three

Four

Five cups

Now instead of the pain being in my heart it's in my head… I hate this pain the most it's when I actually have the flashbacks. No please no… not this memory…

Stop

Stop

Stop

No

No

No

Forget it

Forget it

Please

Please

Pl…..

_**And cut! So next chapter is a flashback, and then enters Lucy… I feel bad for putting Natsu through this, and It's hard making him stay in his character while writing this in his POV and I'm trying to show you the pain he's going through. I wanted to write the flashback in this chapter, but then I decided I didn't want a broken Natsu and an asshole Natsu to be in the same chapter…**_

_**#LOVE YOU ALWAYS**_

_**Review?**_

_**~Lala**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**The chapter you've been waiting for…. the flashback. So, this is Natsu in the past speaking!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**And action!**_

I woke up next to a white-haired naked beauty, feeling extremely excited for today, not noticing my partner, who I think I'm in love with, was awake and smirking for her own plan. With the drowsiness still clouding my mind, I started thinking for the first time about what I'm doing.

I'm teaching Lucy a lesson that she needs me and that she completely belongs to me.

How?

Easy.

You see these past four years, the girl has been there for me and helped a lot and never has she come to me when she needed someone. If there's something I hate in this world so much, other that loneliness, it's…

Uselessness .

I don't like how my 'girlfriend' is always smiling and is strong without me helping. If the girl wasn't there for me I would have defiantly fallen in depression, but not Lucy Heartfilia after everything that happened to her, she is still standing tall and strong.

I don't like that.

I want to see her break.

I want to see her in despair.

I want to see her hopeless.

Why?

Easy.

BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR!

Why did I break when my mother died? And she fixed me with her warm smile. Why did I fall in despair when my father abandoned me? And the hug she gave me made me feel wanted. Why did I feel hopeless when I fought with my last family member? And her kiss was what gave me hope.

Why did I feel these feelings and she didn't? Why can't she be in my place so I can help her? I don't want to be the only person who can't stand up to the world alone!

I hate that I need her! I want to feel needed! And I'm going to teach her a lesson about depending on others…nope not others but me only. She needs me and only me…

I'm going to tear her down…

oOoOoOoOoo

I had my arms around Lisanna waiting for Lucy in the school yard, and when she appeared it was show time.

She saw me with Lisanna and her eyes showed confusion.

She the saw me kiss Lisanna and her eyes showed hurt.

She saw me smirk and her eyes showed betrayal.

She ran past me and bumped her shoulder into my arm, she looked up at me with teary eyes and whispered a sentence that I never would have known it would haunt me in the future, "how could you…" and she went inside crying.

I felt my heart break a little but I ignored it, and focused on how the emotions she displayed didn't really make me feel satisfied as much as I thought. Sure, I now know that she feels pain. But when did I ever start thinking that Lucy doesn't feel pain?Whatever. I looked for the girl who was the cause of me betraying Lucy, the girl who made me feel needed, the girl who was a challenge for me; I looked for Lisanna and saw her with a brunette looking at me and smirking.

"Well Liz looks like you win the bet." Cana, the brunette, said as she gave her money.

Bet? What bet? I had a bad feeling in my guts.

"I told you I can show Lucy his true colors by seducing him."

My eyes widen, this girl didn't use me, did she?

As if she read my thoughts she smirked, "well, Natsu how does it feel to be used as a gambling toy?"

Gambling toy?

The whole school was still in the yard after the show I did with Lucy, but now they were whispering about me.

"I thank you for fulfilling all my needs when I felt stressed out." She said in mock gratefulness.

Fulfilling all her needs?

"What are you talking about?" I whisper harshly.

She walked to me with a dark look on her face and started circling me, "what I mean asshole, is that I didn't like the way you treated my best friend these past couple of months. I wasn't the only one, but Cana also didn't like it. And when we went to Lucy to tell her about our concerns she just brushed us off, saying that you guys are just going through a rough stage. So, Cana and I decided to show her how much of an ass you are, but couldn't think of anything. Then one day we heard someone talking about seducing you and that's when I got the idea. I told Cana that if I can seduce you enough and make you think about breaking up with Lucy then I win, and she agreed thinking that you can't be that much of an asshole."

She stopped in front of me and looked me in my emotionless eyes, "turns out, you really are that big of an asshole, but thanks to that I accomplished three things…1. I just humiliated you in front of the whole school by showing them how much of an ass you are, 2. I showed Lucy that she deserves better and 3. You just rose my popularity level for letting me easily win that bet." And she turned around and was about to leave but, then tuned her head to me, "**I hope I taught a lesson about not taking things for granted**."

The whole school was whispering or laughing at me but right now, all I could think about was how I let the only person who ever was there for me feel hurt. I ran inside to find her.

OooOooOoo

I found her coming out of the bathroom with red eyes and a tear stained face and I felt like I've been hit by truck, "Luce…"

"Don't call me that!" she snapped and I flinched, she took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes, "we are over Natsu…"

Something inside me snapped and I pinned her on the locker, "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME, YOUR'RE MINE! YOU HEAR THAT?! YOU'RE MINE!" I yelled as I pressed my knee between her legs.

"NO, I'M NOT!" she yelled.

No, I won't lose control, I won't let this happen, she mines and mines only.

I pressed my lips against hers forcibly, and grinded my knee on her private part so I can completely dominate her. But, she didn't give in like she always does. Instead she broke free, taking the chance when she saw me not focusing.

She rubbed her wrists and turned to leave, but she looked back at me, "you need some help Natsu, you should go find a therapist."

I finally broke down, but this time I had no one to be there for me. Because the one that usually is here for me, is broken because of me…

And the feeling of **regret** slammed my heart and mind…

_**And cut! How was it? Did it make sense? There is a reason why this is late… I typed half the chapter and I really liked it! It was way better that this one, but my laptop decided to update itself and it shut down without me saving the file! So, I lost the will to type it again….**_

_**So tell me what do you think?**_

**_I was aiming for you to think that Natsu needs help...did it work?_**

_**Hope you liked it!**_

_**Review?**_

_**Love you all!**_

_**~Lala**_


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